Welcome to Calamity News, the only weekday satirical news source that isn’t afraid to print the things you’ve never thought of.
How did you manage to dodge the soccer group of death, the TSA, aliens, the NSA, the biggest ship in the world, drones, waxing US influence, China’s military, winter, stupid teens, imperialistic Indian astronauts, Detroit, striking workers, and all the trappings of Cyber Monday? You must be a magician. Or not paying attention to the week’s news.
Have a safe weekend!