We saw this week that fear is what drives our news media, followed very closely by money-lust. Why would NBC follow the wishes of a deranged killer and air his ‘manifesto’ if not to scare the living crap out of us and keep us glued to the television while they ran a few extra minutes [...]

New York, NY – Wall Street bounded higher today after Google Inc. (GOOG) led a series of stronger earnings reports that propelled the Dow Jones industrials further into record terrain and toward the 13,000 mark. “Bad, bad, bad things will happen once the Dow hits unlucky thirteen,” said local prognosticator Tarret Elsbogwife. “And if Tarret [...]

Wright City, MO – A local man who went to the post office to pick up a novelty phone he ordered over the Internet was alarmed that the package was ticking. The bomb squad opened the package to reveal it was the ticking Winnie the Pooh phone he ordered last week on Ebay, like we [...]

Sydney, Australia – Australian rescuers were on Friday trying to solve the “Mary Celeste” style mystery of a yacht found floating off the coast with its engine running, food on its table ready to eat, but no crew. “We suspect foul play,” said a detective with no shirt but wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat and [...]

Chicago, IL – A newly released court document details four decades of alleged Chicago mob killings, including the slayings of six men accused of robbing the vault of the Mafia’s biggest boss. “We’re going for the longest killing streak ever,” said a mob middleman. “Ghengis Khan went three and one half decades in eleven eighty. [...]