Chicago, IL – A newly released court document details four decades of alleged Chicago mob killings, including the slayings of six men accused of robbing the vault of the Mafia’s biggest boss.

“We’re going for the longest killing streak ever,” said a mob middleman. “Ghengis Khan went three and one half decades in eleven eighty. We’re fixing to beat that record!” He then shot Sal ‘Sali’ Salanpido in the face three times whilst screaming “rat!”

The FBI calls the mob “a necessary evil” and followed up with “well, without the mob, we’d be out of jobs, so… Yeah, I guess we do give them a little leeway, so what? If you think about it, we’re kinda like the mob for the government. Wait.”

“With the mob still active in most major cities the chances of them toppling the local government and replacing it with mob rule is pretty high,” said a professor. “So make sure you have a hot daughter you can offer to the boss and everything will be alright. Class dismissed.”