Washington, DC – A new AIDS vaccine may actually make patients more susceptible to HIV infections than not. So instead of coming up with a prevention, scientists have invented an AIDS magnet.

“I used to live such a good, clean life,” noted one volunteer. “Now that I have the vaccine, I shoot up heroin three times a day and [expletive deleted] the [expletive deleted] out of hookers. Now I have the ‘HIV.’ I just don’t know what went wrong, this was supposed to be a glorious day for debauchery! Medicine, you’ve failed again!”

National Science Coaltion noted most of their great inventions backfire including “the zero emissions car that increases global warming”, “battle armor that shatters when in proximity to IED’s” and “a pill that makes my wife more cranky during that time of the month. Oh wait, that was just a tic-tac.”

“This is a relief,” noted one production assistant for the Sara Silverman show. “Most of our material is based on AIDS, AIDS victims and other forms of AIDS suffering. This was going to be a real blow to our writing staff. Excuse me, I have to go round up fourteen midgets for Sara to slap with a giant foam [expletive deleted]. It’s our best season ever!”