Washington DC – Bumbo Baby International has recalled over a million of it’s baby seats, after three children fell over and fractured their skulls. The easily unbalanced seat, which locked children in by the legs and had a the tendency to teeter, was a veritable death trap for toddlers.

“Well shoot. If I can’t have my children sitting down, I guess it’s back to lettin’ play in traffic,” said one mother of six whilst getting her hair bleached in the ‘living’ area of her trailer. “Todd, sweetheart, give momma back her lighter. There’s a good boy. Now where is mommy’s bag for the funny smokes?”

“Thank God! Folks can sue the Bumbo people and leave us good folk alone,” chimed Sally Day, proprietor of Sally’s Silly Switchblade Saddles. ”Seriously, the switchblades were for defense, who could have seen that going wrong? Come on down, we’re much safer than Bumbo seats. And our child saddles now have fifteen percent less switchblade.”

Other child manufactures are jumping on the safety bandwagon including the makers of “deathball,” “the Barney Entertainment Hour” and “the National Rifle Association.”

“Look, let’s face it; your kids are going to die,” added Sal Nevins [PKA Chief Pragmatist], spokesman for Big Tobacco. “So why not just let them have a Pall Mall and enjoy the ride out? Now how is that irresponsible ma’am? Well let’s just agree to disagree. Smoke?”