London, UK – A British consumer air travel group says airlines across the world have lost forty million bags in 2007, and the number continues to rise.

“Whoops,” said a baggage handler at JFK as he tossed Mrs. Rinzel’s large burgundy Samsonite into the central furnace. “Looks like it didn’t make the layover at Dayton.”

“Yes, this happened two years ago! I didn’t want to tell you guys because we thought you’d get mad,” said an English researcher. “No, I know how you get. You’d just get mad and then shutdown. Well I’m sorry, but I’m going to research bad news from time to time and I need to talk to you about it. Now how about a hug.”

The Collation of Travelers Rights argued “the airlines need to treat us travelers with respect. After all, we’re paying their salaries”, “we’re pretty much powerless, like flies in a hurricane” and “why are they still charging per bag? The price of oil is a third of what it was last year- oh forget it.”

“Ah yes, more bags!” said Orean, the Bag God of the Underworld. “I must keep eating lost luggage or I will die.” After eating a black hard-case medium sized Travelers Choice he added, “you know I don’t exist right? You’re just having another Absinthe trip. Ah, a travel kennel! What a lucky day!”