Baghdad, Iraq – Iraq’s deputy foreign Minster report Iranian troops have crossed into Iraqi territory and seized an oil well that lies in a disputed area along the two countries’ southern border.

“If you American’s didn’t show the world that our soldiers were only serving out of fear from a tyrannical dictatorship, Iran would have never have done this,” said a top Iraqi official. “Then again, we can easily whoop them with the equipment your tax payers have purchased for us. Except for the planes, which we sold to various groups and cave-dwellers.”

“This is our stuff, not yours,” said an Iranian soldier. “Give it back! Give it!” After tearing up he shouted, “It’s mine! Give it! Now!” After throwing himself on the ground he shouted “come on! Give it!”

The UN noted “oh, this again?”, “you guys need to behave. I swear, you’re worse than Uday and Qusay” and “if you ask us, the lot of you stink. What if aliens came down and landed on the border of Iraq and Iran. They’d totally be pissed after traveling billions of light years and seeing you guys squabble over an oil field. Think about it.”

“What you have here is two very primitive cultures fighting over their only link to the Western world’s endless money,” said a historian. “Oh, I’m sorry. Should I be more politically correct? It’s now wonder this is how their acting; it’s our fault for corrupting two nations separated by deep rooted spiritual differences. Is that better?”