Kennett Square, PA – Barbaro is expected to make a full recovery after suffering debilitating injuries during the Kentucky Derby, countering popular fears that the champion would end up homeless or worse, turn to a life of crime.

“I’ve seen a lot of horses addicted to pain pills,” One PETA spokeswoman said, “They start using oxycodone, then snack on pot brownies and before you know it they’re asking for bedtime stories from Courtney Love’s autobiography. Some of them get killed trying to score crack at highway rest stops, some of them recover to offer free transportation for child molesters and Democrats, only time will tell.”

While it has been documented that injured race-horses may have difficulties choosing a new career path, many think that they are overreacting and need to ‘get up on their three good legs & quit bitching.’

A doctor wearing a bloodied smock smirked and said, “Barbaro is going to have a happy retirement, he’ll laugh and skip and eat clovers all day! We’re also asking him to live in a slaughterhouse for thirty seven (37) days and write an article about his experience. We’re hoping this will serve as a warning to all those horses and greyhounds and chickens and mice who think they can blow my son’s college fund because of a splintered pelvis.”