More Accounts Hacked, Say Helpless Users

San Francisco, CA – The CEO of Google’s Quora account appears to have been hacked by a group called OurMine, which previously broke into Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg’s Twitter and Pinterest accounts earlier this month.

“The only way to stop hackers is to openly report of their hack and the damage it’s done,” said a cyber security tech. “Publicly glorifying their work will not only demoralize them, but will stop others from copying them. Sure, we could buffer our security, prosecute those who we catch, but let’s all settle in and wait for season two of Mr. Robot. So good, right?”

“Maybe I wanted to be hacked,” said another victim. “I mean, maybe this is the Stockholm Syndrome talking, but maybe they need this more than I do! I mean, why shouldn’t people have unfettered access to my emails and Pinterest likes? So I have a thing about Hawaii and pugs. Maybe it’s good that someone exploits that. I dunno, maybe I’ve just been in it for too long. I dunno.”

Hackers called the hack “impressive”, “stupid” and “you know, we’re more than a single group of people, right? Please stop lumping us all together like we’ve got some master plan to destroy the world. No, we’re not going to break it down, we have lives, okay? Jesus, leave us alone.”

“Everyone is hacked,” said a woman. “I get it. We’re all hacked. That lady? Hacked. Me? Hacked. So what?” After a long pause she added, “please go away.”