Washington DC – By most accounts, President Obama gave a fiery speech at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s annual awards dinner, telling blacks to “quit crying and complaining” and support him in the fight for jobs. But was the AP transcription of Obama’s remarks racist?

“If there’s anything we do best, it’s putting ourselves in the story,” said an AP reporter. “Look, I’m in the story right now. I’m talking about how hard it is to do my job! Look at me, I’m using ‘I’ a lot. I think I’m right and I’m just a working schlub like you. I!”

“To report that the President is black is racist,” said a famous race baiter and civil rights activist. “And anyone who says differently is no better than a Nazi baby-eater.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “anyone who writes this down is a racist and anyone who thinks about what I just said is a racist. Racist!”

Reuters called the report “confusing”, “so is the AP reporting that the AP is being called racist? Why report that at all?” and “unless it’s a cheap bid to show how ‘unbiased’ they are. Well, we all know their deep ties to the KKK, the Polpot Foundation and their ongoing support of land-mining children.”

“So what did the AP do exactly?” asked an open-minded man. “Because all I hear is they may or may not have been racist. Can someone give me the facts? No one? Seriously? No one has a single fact? That’s what I get for talking to [ethnic slur omitted]s.”