April Fools Jokes As Unpredictable As Ever, Never

London, UK – Media around the world regaled their audiences with stories of stretched French presidents and bisexual James Bonds, proving the tradition of April Fool’s jokes was alive and kicking.

“The public really doesn’t trust us with news,” said an AP reporter. “I mean, we’re already a joke with our biased journalism, opinionated political coverage and no-so-subtle way of following the public’s fickle interests whilst never addressing the real problems of racism, classism and sexism in America. So, why not publish a few fake stories?”

“Hey, I’m gonna kill my wife,” shouted a man as he shot his wife several times. “April fools! This is all a joke. Gotcha! Now I’m gonna flee to Mexico! Psyche! Boy are you gullible. Now help me throw this body in the grave I dug in the woods. Got you again! Seriously, wrap her up in this sheet.”

The International April Fools Association “yes, it took us all year, but we helped with some of the stories. Finally the press is doing something important”, “next year we plan to do more topical stuff like terrorism and China” and “got you! There is no International April Fools Association! Wait, then where am I?”

“Why would any news organization intentionally deceive the public and break its unspoken contract of trust?” asked a very ordinary man. “Unless, it’s all lies. Oh my God! The Matrix is real! I’ve got to tell- [collapses twitching] – April Fools!”

Report filed by Editor at 9:00 am