San Francisco, CA – Google’s seemingly limitless ambition has seen the company take on drones, self-driving cars and even the problem of aging, but the company’s founders have even grander plans: to build cities and airports.
“It’s about time,” said a flustered city official. “I can’t figure out how to make a city work.” He swiveled from his computer, adding, “these Sims games have gotten way too hard. Remember Sim City 2000? Now there was an economy I could understand.”
“Umm, don’t worry, we got this,” said an FAA official. “No one can run an airport better than an agency who has to answer to a constantly changing government whilst being lobbied by airline companies and all the while has to pay outrageous costs to their employees who deliver sub-par work? Us, that’s who!”
Other tech companies promised “building more brothels”, “brothels? You bet we can build more of those!” and “almost ninety percent of the internet is porn, so yes, we hear you and we’ll build more brothels.”
“Honestly, we’re just trying to make things better,” said a Google officer. “Personally, I see a lot of waste in our governing system, a lot of inefficiency, and who better than a massive corporation to help sort it all out.” After clearing his throat he whispered, “they’re watching us. Play along.”