Concord, NH – According to a recently released survey by the Society of Human Resource Management and Globoforce, an employee recognition company, nearly half of human resources managers don’t think annual performance reviews are accurate appraisals of employee performance. “These [reviews] are worthless,” said the Human Resources Director at a major US company. “We just ...

Stanford, CT – New research suggests you only have six seconds to make your impression with a resume. “After six seconds we lose all interest,” said the head of HR. “Look at me. Does it look like I care about anything other than keeping my job? News flash: I don’t.” She wrote something down in ...

Tampa, FL – Coca-Cola Co is dropping its membership in a conservative national advocacy group that supports “Stand Your Ground” laws. “We were for it, but now we’re against it,” said a company rep. “Whatever the people want, right?” He looked around before adding, “unless you guys are for it, in which case, so are ...

San Diego, CA – In a long-anticipated move, struggling Internet giant Yahoo said it would be cutting two thousand jobs, or about fourteen percent, of its workforce. “When we started the company we used to do all the searches by hand,” said a high-ranking member of the internet pioneer company. “After we developed software to ...

Washington DC – The Federal Reserve Chairman reports the US economy is “stronger and more stable” than it was a year ago and the financial stress in Europe is easing, but many challenges remain including adding more jobs for the long-term unemployed and getting the housing market back on track. “Oh yeah, we’re doing great,” ...

Toledo, OH – A recent analysis from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities found over fifty percent of all government entitlements are going to people who are over sixty-five years old. “Some how the elderly have hijacked our budget,” said a Congressman. “That means we’re not killing enough of them when they’re young. Therefor, ...

New York, NY – Wendy’s has dethroned Burger King as the country’s second biggest hamburger chain. “We’re very disappointed, but no more than the King,” said the King’s Jester. “His Highness has taken the news pretty hard and refuses to extricate himself from his five story bedroom.” He did a little jig and added, “we’re ...

Brussels, Belgium – The United States, the European Union and Japan filed complaints with the World Trade Organization today, charging that China is limiting its export of rare earths, minerals that are vital to the production of technology components. “They have to do what we say!” shouted an irate US diplomat. “Everyone must do what ...