Space – Mercury’s rare passage across the face of the sun today may provide information about its thin atmosphere, assist in the hunt for worlds around other stars, and help NASA hone some of its instruments.
“Now we can finally see what’s going on,” said a NASA official. “Because the probes we send to the dead planet keep getting shot down by something.” He shrugged, adding, “probably just static, like that continuous transmission from the planet the government designated ‘highly classified.’ Oh well, right?”
“Yeah, we’re excited,” said a scientist. “I mean, as excited as we can get.” After a very long pause he noted, “see? I just totally freaked out and you didn’t even notice. That’s because I’m a dull, boring scientist. Here’s a sixty seven page paper on my current disposition.” He then leaped up and tore off his break-away pants, yelling, “gotcha! Oh, man, classic ‘new’ scientist prank!”
NASA hopes to discover “where the hell our funding went”, “why kids are so [expletive deleted]ing stupid” and “what will happen to Jon Snow. What? We’re human, too.”
“I can’t wait to see it!” said a schoolchild. “Wait, if it’s in front of the sun, then I can’t see it. And hasn’t this happened before? So do we have new technology acclimate and study Mercury or is this an opportunity that we have missed in the past?” We told him to don’t worry about it and finish his breakfast before the bus got here.