Welcome to Calamity News, the only online, weekday, satirical news site that looks exactly like how we look. How are your New Years resolutions coming along? Already gave up? Well, we didn’t. We’ve added an archives feature to the site, so you can now enjoy all five and a half years of Calamity News with a simple click. In the category view (click on one ...

Welcome to Calamity News, where we take everyday news stories and inflate them until they look like a bloated, creepy clown. You know, like the one that haunts your dreams. We’ve had a rough week, what with the decline of the Japanese population, new facts on getting fat, python attacks, molestation, FBI screwups, the destruction of the ice shelf, California bankruptcy, lying schools, overcharging airlines, ...

Thank you for reading Calamity News, the only satirical, weekday, black and white news site on the internet. Instead of ranting and raving that the news has become more entertainment than informative, citing examples, pointing fingers and raising our blood pressure, we’re just going to roll our eyes and make a face that asks, ‘seriously?’ Are we cool? Cool. Have a safe weekend!

Welcome to Calamity News, where we take the underlying fear in every news story and bring it to the surface for your personal enjoyment. Results may vary. We’ve had a rough week: fires, global warming, elections, chemical weapons, snow, moon bases, a murder equation, internet problems, hacking, protests, new tobacco products, crashing satellites and pointless optimism. Chances are you know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone else who knows about someone who’s been effected by one of those stories. Scary. Have a safe weekend!

Thank you for reading Calamity News, the only satirical website not being tracked by the government. Bomb. And now we are. It was a typical week of calamities: a crumbling EU, pill mixups, bombs at the Olympics, doomsday clocks, weed studies, spying government, global warming, tornadoes, internet addiction, cheap political stunt and the discovery that the TSA makes money one penny at a time. Just goes to show you… okay, it really doesn’t show you anything. Have a safe weekend!

Thank you for reading Calamity News. The year started out like any other year, with stories on brain decay, zombie flies, corpses, heroin, acidic soda, sharks, arson, recalls, time manipulation and a random uncontrolled satellite reentry. It’s nice to see we’ve made a smooth transition to 2012. Well, it’s nice for us, for you… not so much. Have a safe weekend!

As incredible as it seems, we’ve survived another year. Sure, 2011 was filled with disasters, like the Casey Anthony trial, the Winehouse death and the occupy movement, but we feel there were other events that had a more meaningful and lasting impact on the human race. In January the people in Tunisia drove our their ...