Thank you for reading Calamity News. We take the sensationalized fear of each news story and inflate it so it looks like a bloated clown corpse. Good luck getting to sleep tonight. Think back to the week’s news stories. Has any really caught your attention? Are you worried about red meat? Warmer temperatures? Pi? The ...

Welcome to Calamity News, the only place were imagination and news come alive. Unless you’ve talked to that snippy robot at the Epcot Visitor Center. You’ve dodged a week of personal attacks: solar flares, poisonous soda, Greeks stealing money out of your pocket, smoking, cannons, untracked criminals, storms on Mars, people voting, low rad pills, ...

Welcome to Calamity News. If you don’t understand what we do, click on stuff and figure it out. We’re not doing all the work in this relationship. A friend on Facebook remarked he felt a little twinge of happiness upon hearing the news that a major conservative activist had died. The idea of hating someone ...

Thank you for reading Calamity News. What? You’re here, let’s not make a big deal about it. As the political hype machine clunks into second gear it’s important to try and keep some perspective. Can a President give you a job? Can he (or she) take away your guns or make you have an abortion? ...

Thank you for reading Calamity News, your number one source for satirical, weekday, black and white news. This week was jammed packed with calamities that personally effect you, like face-mangling toothbrushes, deadly booze, fake US bonds, terrorist hairdryers, aliens, poisonous sidewalks, e coli, Greek revolts, plane shenanigans, arsenic poisoning, Egyptian extremists, crappy drinking water and the end of the World Bank. Thankfully, you have Monday off to recover. At least we do. Have a safe weekend!

Welcome to Calamity News, the only online, weekday, satirical news site that looks exactly like how we look. How are your New Years resolutions coming along? Already gave up? Well, we didn’t. We’ve added an archives feature to the site, so you can now enjoy all five and a half years of Calamity News with ...

Welcome to Calamity News, where we take everyday news stories and inflate them until they look like a bloated, creepy clown. You know, like the one that haunts your dreams. We’ve had a rough week, what with the decline of the Japanese population, new facts on getting fat, python attacks, molestation, FBI screwups, the destruction ...

Thank you for reading Calamity News, the only satirical, weekday, black and white news site on the internet. Instead of ranting and raving that the news has become more entertainment than informative, citing examples, pointing fingers and raising our blood pressure, we’re just going to roll our eyes and make a face that asks, ‘seriously?’ Are we cool? Cool. Have a safe weekend!