Chicago, IL – Shortly after airing a news segment aimed at helping parents curb their kids’ high-budget Christmas expectations, a news anchor decided it was the perfect time to cut to the chase and advised parents to just tell kids there’s no such thing as Santa. “Look, it’s just easier,” reasoned a top news anchor. ...

London, UK – A former News of the World journalist made a rare, robust defense of phone hacking, telling Britain’s media ethics inquiry that eavesdropping on voicemails was a “perfectly acceptable tool” to help journalists uncover stories. “We’re not going to find stories on our own,” said a British journalist before the court. “And no ...

Undisclosed Location – On the eve of the one-year anniversary of WikiLeaks’ release of more than a quarter of a million US embassy cables, founder Julian Assange assailed mainstream news editors in a speech to an editors conference in Hong Kong charging that, in their quest to advance in their chosen profession, they have become ...

Washington DC – On the verge of reporting historic losses, the US Postal Service is launching a new TV advertising campaign designed to slow the migration away from snail mail. “We’re really in a bind here,” said the assistant to the Postmaster General. “So instead of making the rational business move: downsizing, cutting costs and ...

Washington DC – By most accounts, President Obama gave a fiery speech at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s annual awards dinner, telling blacks to “quit crying and complaining” and support him in the fight for jobs. But was the AP transcription of Obama’s remarks racist? “If there’s anything we do best, it’s putting ourselves in ...

Atlanta, GA – A new study published by the journal Pediatrics found watching a snippet of a SpongeBob cartoon negatively affected four-year-olds’ attention spans. Watching a more realistic PBS cartoon did not. “Realistic cartoons had no effect on children,” said a PBS television director. “Mostly because they’re watercolor pictures of starving children in Darfur, voiced ...

San Antonio, TX – A non-human DJ will take to the airwaves next week in what may mark another step on the path that puts flesh-and-blood radio personalities out of a job. “Finally, we’ve created artificial intelligence that can think at the level of a three year old,” said scientist Dr. Lyle Maripo. “See what ...

Miami, FL – Australian researchers claim watching an hour of TV after the age of twenty five can shorten the viewer’s life by just under twenty two minutes. “We finally have proof that television will kill you,” said a new mother. “But it’s the only way to keep my kids quiet. So, we’ll just sit ...