Boston, MA – A Massachusetts woman says the FBI used a chain saw blade to cut through her door and held her at gunpoint for at least thirty minutes before agents realized they were conducting a raid at the wrong home.

“Oh, that happens ever week or so,” said a top FBI official. “You won’t believe how many 3′s look like 8′s.” After a chuckle he added, “so much blood.” He stopped, looked at our reporter and then asked, “say, where do you live again?”

“America is turning into a police state!” shouted a man on the street corner. “What? Just because I’m screaming my views on a street corner doesn’t mean they aren’t valid!” He then dropped his pants and concluded, “they’re monitoring my balls. Look! They’re monitoring them! See? Here come the cops!”

The CIA called the flub “a huge embarrassment for the intelligence community”, “the worst thing since we made up that whole attack on America” and “oh, don’t act so surprised. You totally knew that- wait, are you really surprised? Oh [expletive deleted].”

“I’m sure it’s an isolated incident,” said a law abiding citizen. “But just incase, I’m going to take the next few years to audit my family to make sure we’re obeying all laws.” He leaned in and whispered, “and I mean all of them.”