Atlanta, GA – A Georgia Court of Appeals ruled parents can be held liable for what their kids post on Facebook, a decision that lawyers said marked a legal precedent on the issue of parental responsibility over their children’s online activity.
“Wait, so I’m in charge of my kid?” asked a father. “I have to teach him or her how the world works, the constructs of the social contract, and the basics of living in a civilized society?” He lit a cigarette, adding, “yeah, I didn’t say ‘him or her’ so my comments are applicable to everyone, I literally don’t know if my kid is a boy or girl. Whatever.”
“So my parents go to jail if I do this?” asked a teen as he threw a molotov cocktail through a hospital window. As police arrived on the scene he added, “I did it. Throw my parents in jail! They’re responsib- ow! Why did you hit- ow! You can’t handcuff me!”
The Court also ruled “if [local sandwich shop] Quick’s [deli] screws up this lunch order, we’re done with them”, “no, [stenographer] Mary [last name not given], don’t enter that into the records” and “okay, now we both look like idiots. No, stop typing. Damn it, stop [end of transcript]”
“It seems reasonable,” said a lawyer. “I mean, the court needs cases, we need money, so everyone wins.” He cleared his throat, adding, “I’m going to have to bill you for the full hour.”