Washington DC – The Treasury Secretary will announce plans to both keep Alexander Hamilton on the front of the ten dollar bill and to knock Andrew Jackson off the front of the twenty dollar bill in favor of Harriet Tubman.
“If you say this is stupid, you’re a bigot,” said a woman. “And that’s just a fact.” She waited a long time, then yelled, “racist bigot!” and stomped off.
“It’s time we changed the race discussion in America in the most superficial way possible,” said a White House official. “Because honestly, things have gotten worse, mostly because of our eight years of race baiting. But that’s your fault, racist.”
“Ugh,” said a counterfeiter. “Bad day, right?” After a very long pause he noted, “because I steal- okay. Yeah, no, that’s good you got it. You didn’t look like- okay. No, great. Here, have a fifty.”
The Treasury department denied “bringing back the twelve dollar bill”, “having a soul” and “being able to give a joint statement like this. Also, are you high? Well, then this makes sense.”
“Yeah?” asked a teen. “So? Like, who cares, right?” He did have a point, but then we realized it was about life in general, to which we disagreed, but we couldn’t find him because it was almost an hour later.