Paris, France – The contemporary art market, buoyed by high demand and massive growth in China, smashed through the two billion mark for the first time in a record-breaking 2013-14 season.
“Yes, I’m very happy I just paid three hundred eighty five million dollars for this picture of a red circle on a blue square,” said a Chinese art dealer. “Why? Can’t you see? It represents Japan’s aggression and our emotional response during the autumn of 1972.” With a sigh he added, “so beautiful.”
“Oh man, this is…” gasped a contemporary artist between laughs. He held up his finger, composed himself, then broke back to laughter, managing to say “so stupid”, “suckers” and “biggest racket” before falling out of his chair from sheer mirth.
Traditional artists called the sales “a slap in the face”, “the worst thing to happen to traditional art since the Industrial Revolution” and “no, we’re not going to explain that. It’s just how things shook out. We’re still working on a response. Maybe next year.”
“I’m just doing this to get back at my parents,” said an art major. “Well, and because I don’t want to put in the effort to study. And, you know, because I’m insecure.” She held up a white canvas, adding, “and I can get fifty grand for a blank canvas. This is my IRA, dad! This is!”