New Robot Completely Harmless, For Now

Washington DC – Toyota Motor unveiled a robot that can play the violin as part of its efforts to develop futuristic machines capable of assisting humans in Japan’s greying society.

“How could this little guy run amock and kill?” asked a nervous representative for the robotic division. “Why, even if he was to achieve consciousness and threaten the programmers’ families with torture to hide his deadly secret, we all know he’d stick to his promise. Wouldn’t you, Lord Robot? Please don’t kill them, I haven’t said a word! Please!”

“What?” shouted an old man. “Nah, we don’t care about some robot playing the violin. When are you gonna fix Medicare? Why not spend the robot money on programs that make us feel wanted? What? I can’t hear you, dear. What?” After a brief cloudy stare he added, “what?”

Other sinister robots who have run amock through-out the ages include “Speak-n-Spell”, “Sawbot: the robot with saws for arms” and the infamous killing machine known to television aficionados simply as “Lassie.”

“In a way, our bodies are like little machines,” said a doctor to his daughter’s third grade class. “This huge machine has slowly built itself up from little machines over millions of millions of years. Our body’s only real goal is to procreate, which is why our society endorses rap music. Questions?”

Report filed by Editor at 10:03 am