Los Angeles, CA – Witnesses say a pregnant woman in labor was prevented by authorities from crossing a Los Angeles street to a hospital because the road had been closed for President Barack Obama’s impending motorcade.
“It’s important the President come to Hollywood,” said a White House insider. “Where else would he get money for things? No, Congress appropriates money for the government, we’re looking for money for the party. Also, you guys knew the street closures a day ago and should have planned better. Idiots.”
“I have tens of millions!” shouted a Hollywood producer. “And I choose to give that money to a political party that forces people to pay for public programs!” After a long cackle he added, “I could pay for that myself, but then… I have tens of millions!”
The LAPD called the incident “regrettable”, “she was going for a weapon” and “oh, we didn’t shoot her? Wow. Umm, well, score one for us. No, score it or we’ll shoot you. Yes, we’re serious.”
“It’s not the President’s fault,” said a reasonable man. “That being said, the police or Secret Service, or someone should have escorted that lady across the street. And the route shouldn’t block the city’s major hospital. Also, this is the eighteenth visit to LA. That’s enough. Stop. Please.”