Undisclosed Location – On the eve of the one-year anniversary of WikiLeaks’ release of more than a quarter of a million US embassy cables, founder Julian Assange assailed mainstream news editors in a speech to an editors conference in Hong Kong charging that, in their quest to advance in their chosen profession, they have become “corrupt.”

“How dare he insult us!” said an AP editor. “We can only do what we’ve learned: regurgitate press releases, always believe whatever the officials say and don’t make waves.” After a meek shrug he added, “what else can we do? The internet has us now.”

“This is exactly like Star Wars,” said local nerd Edgar Williams. “And we must fight against the Republic to… wait, why exactly were the people fighting against the Republic? I mean, did the rebels have a list of grievances? Oh my God, they were just as bad as the occupiers. No wonder why Lucas keeps changing it.”

News readers across the country wrote in, commenting “you know that you don’t have to print everything that comes across your desk, right?”, “you realize that you’re printing a story about how all you do is print stories, right?” and “an idiot says what? You see what I did there, right?”

“I think Assange should have used some discretion,” emailed a reader. “But I’m glad he called the media out on moving from informing to entertaining.” That was the end of the email, but we can only assume she forgot to mention how much she loves us, as she’s a woman. Wait, that came out wrong.