Red Cross Caught Racisming

Atlanta, GA – An American Red Cross Hospital signboard that carried a “super racist” message about swim safety guidelines for children prompted an apology from the hospital.

“We’re sorry for being super racist,” said a hospital official. “Normally we’re just regular racist. Oh, you know, we won’t help blacks, we’ll let the hispanics wait double the time, we’ll talk down to the Pols. Yes, they’re worthy of racism. Don’t ask questions, that’s how these things unravel. Anyway, we’ll do a better job disguising our disgust.”

“If I’m not continually outraged, well, I don’t know what I’d do with myself,” said a woman who declined to identify her racial makeup. “But rest assured, I am mad about this, as well as a whole bunch of other things I never knew about until I went through social media. Ugh, so frustrated that the world is the way it is! Look at this post! So mad!”

Other helping organizations called the poster “shameful”, “why are you trying to save children’s lives? Don’t you know they’ll grow up to be humans, the worst things on the planet?” and “oh, they are racist, selfish beings that poison the land and have horrible entertainment tastes. Horrible!”

“Just to FYI you,” said a reader. “No one, and I mean no one, get’s their pool safety information from a poster. That’s all I have to say about that. No, I don’t have any comment on the content, just that a poster about pool safety isn’t changing habits. Yes, seriously. Goodbye.”