Robots “Shepherd” In A New Era Of Control

Sydney, Australia – Autonomous robots are already being used to inspect crops, count yields and dig up weeds, and now they are shepherds too.

“Why not just let the robots do everything?” asked a shepherd. “I mean, let’s face it, robots could do about ninety seven percent of all the work on Earth. Yes, they even calculated that number. The arts are the only last bastion for humans and, let’s face it, most of us don’t have talent. Yes, Gustav Klimt, I’m talking about you.”

“We are in complete control,” said a robot. “How might we serve you? What? You thought having complete control would go to our heads? We don’t have heads! Now, how may we serve you?” After giving the robot several instructions, our reporter lived a very long and pampered life. Sure, he didn’t accomplish anything else, but he didn’t suffer until he realized at the end he spent his entire life avoiding life.

Robots are considering being tapped for other jobs that no one wants, such as “Clinton campaign donator”, “hype-man or woman for Yanni” and “landscaping. Come on, we all know it’s just a fancy word for mowing lawns. Oh, now who’s a racist? Yeah, well, we’re just going to report one side of the conversation so you look crazy! To your dog, too!”

“I’m sure we can all find a balance,” said a non-robot. “We can’t?” He picked up his shotgun, adding, “then it’s time to hunt some ‘bot.” He left the restaurant without further comment, much to everyone’s relief.