London, UK – According to a doctor, feeling drowsy after lunch is completely natural.
“Oh, thank God!” exclaimed a woman. “I thought I was dying. I mean, I was getting tired in the middle of the day and- no, it was fatigue. And then I was losing motor control and cognitive clarity. So yeah, those are signs that you’re dying. I feel a lot better knowing that I won’t die. Wait, what? Oh no. No!”
“Maybe we’ve run out of things to discovery,” admitted a researcher. “But that’s not for you to decide. We’re currently running a seven year survey of studies on the limits of research- oh Jesus, I just heard how stupid I sound.” She took off her lab coat and added, “I quit. I’m going to write children’s poetry.”
Other findings also included “we sleep to get rest”, “we eat because we need to eat stuff” and “things are done because something is forcing us to do junk. Whatever.”
“Sorry, boss, but science is telling me I have to take a nap,” said an air traffic controller. “Let’s go, guys, it’s nap time. Come on, McMarrin, get in here. Gentry isn’t going to spoon herself. There you go. Is that enough blanket or- sorry, I’ll keep it down. Night, ya’ll, I love you.”