Space – A glimpse beyond our solar system reveals the neighborhood just outside the sun’s influence is different and stranger than expected.

“It’s almost as if things out there are being controlled by an omnipotent being who sees all time as a single point,” said a scientist. “Further evidence suggests that that being sent some of his energy to Earth just about two thousand years ago, yet we can’t trace where it went.” He shrugged his shoulders and added, “who knows what that means.”

“They must not detect us,” said Flarrr, space alien. “If they do, we then must destroy their puny planet.” He turned to our reporter and added, “as far as this specimen, place him in the galactic pickler!” We tried to verify the story with our reporter, but he did not return our phone calls.

NASA called the area outside the sun’s influence “super creepy”, “almost as weird as when we found out the moon was really made of cheese” and “we’re still looking for the cow and the ‘alien butter churner’. He’s out there somewhere… somewhere.”

“What?” shouted a regular man. “Scientists aren’t sure about something? Why aren’t they doing their job? What? Then how does science work? Oh, so it’s okay that they don’t know everything, their job is to figure it out? So why report on this at all. Ah, that’s why you guys are here. Got it.”