Paris, France – Standard & Poor’s has downgraded France’s credit rating while several other euro zone countries face the same fate later in the day, according to reports.

“Now we know how God feels,” said a S&P officer. “Disappointed.” He stared at the reporting pool until they meekly left the room.

“Sacrebleu!” said a Frenchman. “Our currency! It is less!” He then put down his baguette, lit a cigarette, French inhaled and added, “now kiss me in the French style of kissing, no?” We did not.

“Yeah! Last man standing!” shouted a top German official. He looked around the empty banquet hall and added, “so who’s going to pay for all this?” He let out a long sigh before adding, “crap.”

EU representatives called the downgrade “great”, “grab as much as you can” and “who’s going to notice a few planks missing from a sinking ship? Now shut up and loot!”

“Downgrading one of the two stable economies in the Eurozone is pretty harsh,” said stoner [no first name given] Berkman. “But that’s what you get when you don’t learn from history. Remember the Organisation for European Economic Cooperation?”