Washington DC – The AP released a report this morning fact checking the President’s State of the Union address.

“It was flawless,” said an AP editor. “Every fact was correct, his plans were clear and concise, his anecdotes were both charming and true.” After a few enthusiastic nods he added, “there has never been such a great person in all of American history. If you disagree, you’re a racist.”

“Lies!” shouted a House Republican. “Everything he said was a lie. We’re doing better? Lie! America is great? Lie! We can pull out of this recession? Lie, lie, lie! There is no way out, people. We’re just buying time until we can finish the deal with the Chinese.”

The American Fact Checking Association called the checks “checkable”, “don’t come to any conclusions until we have checked the checks” and “who checks us? Now you’re being silly. Get the [expletive deleted] out of here.”

“So was it true or not?” asked an American citizen. “What? This is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. Is it true or not? Well then how can we find out? Months of checking? Jesus, I won’t care by the time I finish this sentence.” He paused, shrugged, then walked away.