Beijing, China – State media reports China has closed forty two websites and deleted more than two hundred thousand posts since mid-March in a crackdown on online political “rumors.” “There,” said a Chinese worker. “Now things are exactly how they were a month ago. No one will remember the huge political scandal because there are ...

Washington DC – A former management analyst at the Library of Congress is claiming he was fired after he “liked” a Facebook page for same-sex parents, an act he says led to his boss discovering he is gay. “We keep tabs on all employees,” said an FBI agent. “We also keep tabs on all potential ...

Portland, OR – A computer virus named Trojan BackDoor.Flashback.39, or the “Mac Flashback trojan,” has returned with a vengeance in recent weeks, now affecting hundreds of thousands of Apple laptops. “So that’s why my laptop is acting weird,” said mac user Tiffany Johnson. “I thought it was going slow.” She clicked on a link and ...

London, UK – Sky News has admitted that one of its senior executives authorised a journalist to conduct email hacking on two separate occasions that it said were “in the public interest” – even though intercepting emails is a prima facie breach of the Computer Misuse Act, to which there is no such defence written ...

Seattle, WA – Apple Inc’s new iPad topped Consumer Reports’ list of tablets despite the influential watchdog’s having earlier stoked doubts about the latest iteration of the best-selling tablet by saying it threw off more heat when used heavily. “Things are just fine,” said a top Apple Acolyte to a crowded hall. “Just think how ...

Beijing, China – China has said it will aim to bring faster and cheaper Internet access to more people, following complaints that a near monopoly by state-backed firms had hurt service. “What?” shouted the CFO of a major internet provider. “They can’t just release the most up to date technology without charging an arm and ...

Orange, CA – Concern over the safety of the San Onofre nuclear power plant is growing among Orange County cities closest to the facility, which has been shut down since January because of system failures. “Oh, we’re very concerned,” said a top Orange County official. “We’re concerned that we could be sued, which would really ...

London, UK – New archaeological evidence makes the case that an ancient stone monolith in England was likely an astronomical marker. “This is astonishing!” said a scientist. “A very old rock is pointing in a direction.” He took out his magnifying glass and inspected the rock, adding, “magnificent. It appears to be a rock and ...