Welcome to Calamity News, the only online, weekday, satirical news site that looks exactly like how we look.

How are your New Years resolutions coming along? Already gave up? Well, we didn’t. We’ve added an archives feature to the site, so you can now enjoy all five and a half years of Calamity News with a simple click. In the category view (click on one of the category links on the black nav bar above this post) there’s a link to the previous reports in the lower right. Boom!

We’ve also written enough religion, legal and military reports to merit their own sections, which can be found by click on the corresponding links in the nav bar. Blammo! Want to read just stories about the Pope? Use our search box to pontificate on the Pontiff, to see the Holy See, to peruse paper on the papal. Skizzam! You’re welcome.

Have a safe weekend!