Thank you for reading Calamity News, the only online, satirical, weekday publication that’s not afraid to tell it how it isn’t.
This week you were assaulted by no less than a billion things, including; Florida resort animals, the White House, the British, Led Zeppelin, nasal vaccine, laws, questionable medicine, Mozart, men from the 80’s, polygamists, drugs, fire, the NBA, Saudi Arabia, and even more fire. Don’t believe us? Hey, we’re not in the convincing you business, we’re in the whatever business. We should really finish that paperwork where we write our mission statement.
Have a safe weekend!