Washington DC – A new budget report released today predicts the US government will run a one point one trillion dollar deficit in the fiscal year that ends in September, a slight dip from last year but still very high by any measure.

“The system works,” said a Senator. “We’ve cut spending and stimulated the economy.” He took a long huff from a plastic bag before adding, “now let’s go shoot some homeless. What? You’re still here? Damn occupiers.” He took a few staggering steps, stopped and threw up.

“Yes!” shouted a Congressman. “We did it! We cut the deficit by a few billion!” After high-fiving surrounding colleagues he shouted, “let’s go the the strip club!” After some discussion he added, “fine, we can go to a real one. What’s so wrong with making interns dance? Am I right?”

The European Union called the deficit “confusing”, “if you have a stable economy, why the hell would you constantly stress it by taxing your people and then burning money on needless items?” and “this might be hard to hear, but we’ve brought everyone here to tell you that we love you and you have a problem.”

“So they’re adding a trillion onto our overall debt?” asked an American. “What the hell are they buying with our tax money? I demand to know? National security? How is- yeah, we haven’t been attacked in a decade, but is- fine. Spend away.”