Turkey Negs Women

Istanbul, Turkey – The nation’s president said women who choose careers over motherhood are trailblazers in some parts of the world, but in Turkey they’re “deficient.”

“To clarify, we’re simply saying women are stupidheads,” said a Turkish minister. “You looked shocked, but that’s because you are woman, no? Oh, so you’re transitioning to be woman? Then why your muscles gone and you have soft face?” He stood, adding, “I get you tissue for crying time, no? Good.”

“I’m outraged!” yelled a woman. “I’m going to protest! I’m taking to social media and starting a hashtag!” Funny enough, her outrage spread like a virus, infecting millions who really didn’t know the whole story or care to look it up. Pressure then mounted on representatives, who then talked to Congress, who is currently working on a non-binding resolution to denounce the statement.

Turkish officials also said “minorities are great, except in Turkey”, “rights are awesome, except in Turkey” and “life is great, except in… just kidding, it’s the best! As long as you’re in the political class. Sit on it! Do people still say… oh.”

“Yeah, it was a gaff,” said a political analyst. “But will it define his presidency or the country? Probably not. I mean, I might be talking myself out of a job, but most of what these guys say has no meaning. They’re just speaking off the cuff and- hey, why are you rolling me out- oh, right, I’m just a superfluous. Bye!”