Twitter Is Down, So How Are You Reading This?!

Santa Fe, NM – Twitter is experiencing technical difficulties and is down for most users.

“Our engineers are working on the problem,” tweeted a Twitter engineer. “Errr, not that you’re getting this,” he tweeted again. “Okay, last tweet, I promise, then I gotta fix this thing,” he tweeted. “Duh. Ok, time to get to work!” was his last tweet. Several minutes later he tweeted, “wait, how are you getting these?”

“Why did they say ‘most users?'” asked Twitterer Gus Belishov. “That implies that there are some users that can still use Twitter.” He checked his phone before adding, “if there’s one person tweeting on Twitter, does it count? Oh man, I need to tweet- damn it!”

Facebook called the downtime “unfortunate”, “no, we’re snickering becuase we’re thinking of a joke we remembered from a camping trip we took a few months back” and “oh yeah? Well, if you don’t believe us, then come over here and say it to our face instead of passive/aggressively posting it on your status update.”

“How will I communicate with- hold on,” said Hanna Moonfield as she picked up her phone. “Hello? Oh, hi! Yeah, I can’t either. Whatever. You wanna get lunch? I donno, Urth? Yeah, one is cool. Bodhi Tree? I donno, I thought it closed. We can check afterwards. Okay, see you then.” She hung up, looked at our reporter and added, “gross, right?”