Space – Incredible footage captured by the International Space Station’s base’s cameras shows a suspicious looking fireball just behind the station.
“That’s totally a UFO!” yelled a man who watches the ISS feeds for most of the day. “We don’t know what it is and it’s flying! That’s literally the definition of a UFO! Or is it ‘an’ UFO.” After several hours of research, he noted, “man, the internet is a real mess. Someone should fix it,” then went and had a sandwich.
“It’s nothing!” yelled a top Pentagon official. “Go away!” He shut his door, then made a few phone calls where he loudly told whomever it was on the other line that the “press was hip to their game,” “initiate protocols foxtrot, golf, and lima” and “I’m not yelling, I’m just fired up right now! No, no one can hear me, the best government contractors made this room and… oh damn it.”
NASA also released footage of “several hundred satellite vids of sunbathers”, “six of the fifteen alien autopsies” and “a whole mess of paperwork we forgot to file in the 90s. Turns out we totally could have kept the space program going, we just didn’t get the forms signed. Whatever, we’re scientists, not signingtists. See what we did there?”
“At the end of the day, we all know it’s a probe, or a shuttle, or a meteor,” said a realist. “Look, guys, I’m a realist, and there’s no way aliens have come to Earth. Even if they have, they probably just took human form and are living peacefully among us so let’s all just chill.”