US Military Uses Chinese Parts To Screw Other Nations

Washington, DC – Counterfeit electronic parts from China are “flooding” into critical US military systems, including special operations helicopters and surveillance planes, and are putting the nation’s troops at risk.

“We can’t have the Chinese selling our military five dollar parts when we can make them here at home for five hundred!” shouted a Senator. “It’s not right and it’s not American!” When asked to clarify why the same part should cost a hundred times as much he added, “Communist! Kill the Communist!”

“You have a need and we fill it,” said a top Chinese diplomat. “Military parts, food, government… whatever you need, papa China will take care of you.” He then took his American counterpart’s head and placed it on his chest, stroking his hair until he fell asleep.

The Iraqis called the flood of parts “ironic”, “you gave us weapons to fight the Iranians and then we turned them on you” and “China will soon learn that either they learn from history or are doomed to repeat it. I mean, this is a direct parallel. Seriously, clear cut.”

“I waited fifteen months for this part,” said an Airman. “There are eighty seven helicopters that are waiting for this part, which is just over fifteen billion dollars of equipment just sitting here. Why shouldn’t I use the same exact Chinese made part?”