Washington DC – The Nuclear Regulatory Commission licensed a utility to build nuclear reactors in the US for the first time since 1978.

“We’ve tried to fight it, but why bother?” said a US regulatory commissioner. “Nuclear energy is the only way we’re going to power all of these [x-box] 360s. Have you seen the numbers from the holiday sales? We’re looking at a level two crisis. Yes, that’s out of five. Yes, higher is worse. Got it?”

“No new plants!” shouted a protester. “Who’s going to operate them? US citizens? That’s insane! I went to a liberal arts college and look at me! You want my generation of under-acheiving, self-entitled [expletive deleted]tards running a nuclear power plant?”

The UN called the move “terribly reckless”, “the US shouldn’t be doing anything. We all agreed that it was to be a symbolic head-of-state, like the Emperor of Japan or a school superintendent” and “China and Russia move for sanctions? Wow, okay, the yays have it.”

“It’s about time we develop safe nuclear energy,” said an American. “I mean, we’ve been doing it since the 50s and we’ve survived so far. I think the plant would be super safe and efficient, what with all the computer things we have now.” He shrugged before adding, “or it’ll destroy the Earth. Either way, the Mayans were right. No, I don’t have to explain myself.”