Reno, NV – A wind-driven fire that raged through parched brush near the littlest biggest city, engulfing at least twenty homes and forcing residents and livestock to flee by the thousands.

“As always, this disaster is the first one of its kind we’ve ever seen,” said a Fire Chief. “And, as always, we don’t know who’s at risk or what will be destroyed. Just to be safe, if you live in, live around or have heard of Nevada, you’re going to die. Thank you.”

“We’re pretty sure this is Utah’s fault,” said a top Nevada official. “They’ve been super weird ever since they started Sundance.” He looked around before whispering, “between you and me, I think they have a little problem with matches. So creepy. Wait, is Utah looking at us right now?”

The National Fire Association called the fire “firey”, “super hot” and “you know we’re a figment of your imagination, right? Then why are you writing all of this down. Wait, don’t break the forth wall! That’ll kill us! Noooooooooo!”

“Who cares?” shouted a Las Vegas official during a phone interview. “Let it burn! We’re safe down here, what with a huge lake and tons of girls! Right girls?” After the yelling died down he added, “umm, that yelling wasn’t for fun, that was because someone just collapsed. Why am I telling you this? Oh God, Amber! Amber!”