Washington DC – The Department of Commerce will celebrate its 109th anniversary this year, but if President Obama gets his way, the agency won’t make it much past 110.

“It’s time we trim the fat,” said a top White House official. “It’s time we find out who’s doing all this spending and tell them ‘no.’ It’s time we, why are you holding up a mirror. What does that- oh, I see what you’re doing. You’re saying that- stop shoving that mirror in my face. Stop- okay, I get it, just stop- stop!”

“Boy, that’s a lot of kill orders,” said a FBI agent as he looked at a stack of papers. “These are all the Department of Commerce folks? Jez, this gonna be a long weekend.” He picked up the first paper and added, “I don’t know why they just don’t fire these women. Well, off to work!”

The Department of US Departments called the proposal “out of our jurisdiction”, “we just set them up, we don’t worry about them after that” and “who set us up? Umm, we don’t know. Man, this just got weird.”

“How will we.. umm, what does the Department of Commerce do?” asked an American. “You don’t know either? So why did we have them in the first place? Okay, then why didn’t we fold this department decades ago? So this whole thing was a century long accounting error? Idiots.”