World’s Most Secret Meeting Taking Place This Weekend, Marriott Staff Claim

Dresden, Germany – The world’s most secretive meeting, known as the Bilderberg Meetings, will take place from June over a long weekend in Dresden.

“Shhhhh,” said a guard. “There’s a secret meeting going on that you’re not supposed to know about.” He looked over his shoulder before adding, “I’m technically not even hear right now, talking about a secret meeting that no one knows about.” He glanced over his other shoulder before whispering, “nothing is happening, please forget this whole thing.”

“Oh, come on,” said a high-ranking State Department official. “It’s not like we sit around and talk about how to run the world.” After a very long sip of water he added, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom for a long time and won’t be able to answer any more questions. Ever.” He then stood, gave a curt bow, and walked out of the room.

Our alien overlords called the meeting “necessary”, “they must pay tribute to Gra’aa and all of her needs” and “which nation will sacrifice their millions this year? All hail Gra’aa!”

“I guess we’ll never know what they’re talking about,” said a US citizen on a horse. “Just like you’re not going to take the time to learn about dressage and it’s importance in- yeah, bye! You know it’s considered rude to just walk away when someone’s- great! Bye!”