Cairo, Egypt – A top Muslim Brotherhood official has warned that any cuts in US aid to Egypt could affect Cairo’s peace treaty with Israel.

“We will not negotiate with terrorists!” shouted a State Department official. He sat back down, shuffled some papers and quietly added, “we will simply fund them until they become an issue during an election year and then will pass sanctions on them which will eventually lead to war. Duh.”

“How could the US not give us money?” shouted a Brotherhood member. “We are a religion of peace! And we demand money or we will kill millions of innocent civilians because of their religious beliefs!” He shook his head before adding, “but we’ll kill them in the name of peace, so what I just said makes perfectly logical sense. Die, for peace!”

The UN called the move “super smart”, “that’s what you get for openly supporting a hostile settlement in the middle of religious fanatics” and “take a page from Canada’s book. Oh, that’s right, you don’t know what revolutionaries they’ve been supporting. See?”

“Damn, we put the wrong guys in power,” said a CIA agent. “Well, we can fix that.” He pulled out his revolver and added, “remember Allende? Of course you don’t.” After a slight chuckle he added, “come on, let’s kill some people.”